Monday Morning Mind

Does anyone else feel like it’s just one of those mornings? Y’know, one of those where no matter what you do, nothing seems to go the way you want? It seems like it’s not just me having one – I see all over my newsfeed (Facebook) that people have forgotten their passes to college, or have tripped up, or missed the bus. I can even look over my desk and see my manager jumping back and forth from his desk and the meeting room as he’s forgotten something each time he’s stepped away – fifth time lucky?

                Anyway, back to an actual blog post. I don’t plan on going on about how crappy a Monday morning is, as I’m sure you all feel my pain in that department. On the other hand, I have no topic in mind so this is going to be the most unstructured piece of writing that I’ve put out to date. That’s a Monday morning mind for you! We’ll see where my fingers take me.

                Warm Bodies. After a night out on Saturday evening which ended up with a busted up knee from whacking it off of a table, I decided I needed an easy Sunday with as little movement as possible. So I whipped out the ice-cream and decided to watch a film under the covers with a hot water bottle (and with that, why is the weather on such a crappy decline here in the UK?!). I saw the adverts for Warm Bodies on TV and really wanted to go to the Cinema to see it, but completely missed my chance which was a bummer – but saw recently that it’s out on dvd, fab! So I got that on, got comfy and was content for the next 98 minutes.

                I have to say I really enjoyed it. One of my top three favourite films is Zombieland, so had a feeling I’d be disappointed by this one in comparison. I was happily surprised, though, as I was gripped to the screen. I thought it was incredibly well written, had a great casting and was just an all-round great watch. I’m thinking about watching it again when I get home in fact, it’s just a great film to watch in your pj’s and to wind down to. I don’t want to give much away seen as it’s still relatively new and there will be people out there who haven’t seen it yet and still want to. But I do recommend it to anyone who fancies watching something new. With the zombie aspect of it, it’s great for the guys, and the love story kind of storyline makes it great for us girls - not even mentioning the attractive as heck lead roll, Nicholas Hoult, which will always make it a good enough reason to watch (I’m kidding! it’s good enough to watch in its own merits, not because of the attractive actors :D ). Though once you watch it, do you see the Shakespearian references(if you get my drift). I didn’t realise it was first a book, so I’m going to do the unspeakable thing of reading the book after watching the film – I wish I would have found the book first.

                I’ve got your number. A few posts back, I mentioned that I was reading a book called ‘I’ve got your number’. I’ve finished it now, taking me three days in total while I fit reading around work and stuff. It’s easy enough to follow, which is good. So it was an easy read for when I just wanted to blank off the world and it didn’t take too much concentration to follow what was going on (probably helped by the snippets of extra info at the bottom of the page that I mentioned before). I enjoyed it. It was quirky, relatable and quite funny in parts. The plot is a bit farfetched is some instances, but why would you want to read a book that was easily live-able, that would be dull.

 All I wish is that I had a Sam Roxton (male character) to smile his ‘breath taking smile’ at me every now and again. He seems like a good, down to earth character in the book that would be the type that you would get along with a respect a great deal. And the lead role, Poppy, was incredibly relatable to me. Being put in positions in life where you just want people to like you, and you don’t want to upset people so are constantly putting everyone else before yourself – through this aspect, I felt like I could see myself in her role. She’s seen as ‘spine-less’ by Sam at one point for not sticking up for herself…I think it was over soup. She didn’t want to send cold soup back the kitchen as she didn’t want to complain – exactly how I am! When you’re reading the last part of the book at 3AM, you feel empowered to stick up for yourself and start putting yourself first (you’ll understand if you read the book) but I don’t know whether that’s just my mind while needing sleep or if it’s because I get myself far too emotionally attached to my reading material.

Who knows.



On a little bit of a different note:
if you have read Warm Bodies...is it good and would you recomend it?
Do you have any books in mind you think are an amazing read?
Recomend me something to read!

Sexism

So lately I’ve been getting worked up and pissed off over a minority men. Not in any kind of relationship perspective, per say, but on the views towards women/men and the stubbornness of said views and mind sets.

                Believing in true equality in every form – race, age, gender, ability, and so on – means that those few people that have it stuck in their head that one is better than the rest infuriate me beyond belief. One thing in particular that is bothering me right now is sexism. It’s something that I’ve become a lot more aware of since starting working life. When you’re in school, the guys with perverse perspectives like ‘you belong in the kitchen’ are seen more on the joke-ey side or are just jerks that you soon forget about. But when you’re in the working environment…things like that are a big issue. No matter what industry, company or workplace you’re at…it’s still an issue.

                Out of interest, I Googled ‘successful women’. What I expected to come back from that was a list of successful business women from all over the world. Is that what I found? No. I found list upon list with titles such as ‘how to be successful as a woman’, ‘how to make an impact while being a woman’…then there was one article thrown in there that states why (most) successful women are childless. I don’t know if this was just me being in a foul mood beforehand, but I was somewhat appalled.

‘how to be successful AS A WOMAN’

The last part of the title is what got me. I could understand ‘how to be successful IN BUSINESS’ or ‘how to be successful AS A PERSON’…but the fact that women somehow need completely different rules to be successful than any other person…that just doesn’t bode all that well in my mind. So from curiosity, I opened a few just to see what the ‘oh so different than men’s’ tactics were. I was horrified to find that appearance was a common theme in a few of the links. I saw tips on how you should do your make-up – how much or how little; the way you should dress;  how you need to ‘stay in shape and do some exercise’.  I would have thought it was common sense that you dress appropriate for your role, regardless of gender, but having ‘how to do you make-up’ being high on the list of ‘how to be successful’ is ridiculous. And ‘keep in shape’, why the hell should I? I’ll keep in shape to stay healthy and for my own benefit, of course, but that’s because I want to and it’s a life style choice - not because I want to be successful. You’re telling me that every male CEO in the world had to work out at the gym and get ‘in shape’ to reach that level of success? I doubt it. I’m probably reading into this way too much, but it just felt like a low blow that I need to be attractive to get somewhere in life.

I feel like there’s a lack in visibility of successful female role models to look up to. There’s a few reasons for this. One…there is a little less successful females than there is males (according to servays and statistcs online anyway). And second, when there is success for a female, it’s not exactly the biggest story in the news. I don’t think that the media shout about women in business as much as they could. I hear a lot about ‘hey look, *insert celeb name here* has had a boob job’ or ‘oh my god, look at *insert  another celeb here*’s hair!’… but rarely do I hear of the ‘ordinary’ women (when I say ordinary, I mean in business and who aren’t generally classed as A list Celebs who get followed by the media on a daily basis) who have made a huge impact in the world.

So after being so negative through this whole post, I’m going to be a little more upbeat (or attempt to at least). I want to point out some of the women I look up to. First of is the president and CEO of Yahoo!, Marissa Mayer.  She’s a 38 year old woman who’s at the top of her game, with a baby (how that for ‘successful women are childless’). She was on America’s annual list of ’50 most powerful women’ five years in a row from 2008 to 2012, which is pretty darn good going.  From her ‘small town childhood’…to her job in a local grocery store…she’s made her way up to be the CEO of one of the most recognisable and iconic businesses going. BOOM!

One of the most inspirational people, in my eyes, to watch and listen to would be Eve Ensler. I LOVE her. Eve Ensler is a prominent activist addressing issues of violence against women and girls and is one of my favorite women to listen to. She’s spoken at many TED events and always manages to make me think. On her website, she’s describes as ‘Tony Award winning playwright, performer, and activist’ so it’s safe to say she’s an incredibly talented lady.

This was really a huge ramble from when I was frustrated about something, so I do apologies that it’s a bit of a rant. As I say, everything that I’ve said is my own opinion – so please don’t be kicking off if you disagree with anything I’ve said. I will happily listen to your opposing views in a polite manor, mind you,  as long as you don’t out right say my opinion is wrong (an opinion is just that, an opinion. It can be neither wrong or right as it isn’t factual). But yea, I’ll go now.

What's In My Bag?

I’ve heard this question a thousand times: WHAT DO GIRLS EVEN CARRY IN THEIR BAGS!? It’s safe to say that the majority of us ladies carry around a humongous bag filled with a bunch of crap that we most likely will not even need, but can’t seem to leave behind. So for the many guys that ask the question and are genuinely curious of what females have in our bags…I thought this might be handy seen as, y’know…I’m female and all.

                This is more of the ‘what’s in my purse’ YouTube tag that I keep seeing around, but as a written version. This is just a random days’ worth of junk, and I’ll probably fill my bag with different things tomorrow but, hey ho – here we go:

                1. First off is my trusty tub of Vaseline. I bought this little flip lid tub for 50p when I was buying hair dye because I CONSTANTLY dye my face as well as my hair. Putting Vaseline around your hair line is the best tip I can give you when you’re dying your hair, it stops dye from being able to set on your skin and is easy enough to wipe away once you’re done. It’s such a handy thing to have, and I will transfer this item to whatever bag or coat I’m taking out, because you never know when you might need it. I happen to lose a lot of my piercings for one reason or another, so need to pop another bar in the piercing and Vaseline makes this process a whole lot easier and quicker.

2. Following from that, I have a little plastic bag filled with differed bars (for piercings), just in case. I generally buy all my jewellery for my ears at ProBody in Bradford town centre. I have five piercings in my right ear at the mo, and they do a great deal when you’re buying a ton of stuff at one time. Now that I’ve stopped dying my hair, I’ve moved onto piercings, and I have weird urges just to go get pierced when I’m walking past my local tattoo and piercing studio. Though I’m not all that keen on facial piercings these days, I still think they look pretty cool on a select few people though I won’t be adding any to myself any time soon. I went through a phase when I wanted a Monroe piercing, and my eye-brow doing, and my anti-brow and…oh dear me – my grandma would KILL me.  

3. A book. And the book I have this week is ‘I’ve got your number’ by Sophie Kinsella. This was a complete impulse buy when I was at Tesco picking up some lunch (I’m dangerous with money, I just spend spend spend). To say I barely even read the blurb before chucking it in the trolley, I’m actually really enjoying it. I really do get my teeth stuck into a book and my emotions change to correspond with what the character’s going through – a bit of an unhealthy obsession really. But I love to read, especially on public transport (I’ve been wanting to write some book reviews in fact, not sure yet, what d’you think?). This book does something that I’ve not really seen all that often. There will be little numbers next to a specific sentence in the book which will be referenced to a little explanation at the bottom of the page. It’s like a little background info on something that may be out of context which I find really useful and rather hilarious.

4. I have the generic girly things like make-up wipes – B.Quick 4-in-1 cleansing wipes. These wipes are fab and do wonders for my skin, highly recommend them. These are for those little emergencies…like if it rains and you become a panda and other things along those lines (ladies, you feel my pain. I know you do). Alongside them, I have my everyday make-up bag which I carry with me in case I suddenly see a mirror and realise how shocking I look.

5. Weirdly, I have my little War Hammer figurine. I was taking it somewhere with me the other day to continue painting it and just never got round to taking him out of my bag. I call him Jim. Yea, I’ll put in a picture of Jim. He’s only got base colours on at the moment so looks a little crappy, though he’ll look super when I get round to putting the detailing in and things like that. It’s something I got into when I was younger with my brother buying them when he was 15 (I think) and I thought it would be good to give it a try. I find that painting them is very therapeutic. I don’t play though. I don’t have the time to look through the rule book, or even go to matches…too busy with work. But I do enjoy painting them. So I’ll make them look pretty and pass them on to my other half to play with. Not what you expected, right?

6. I have the boring stuff that just needs to be in there. My security pass for work (I have to put it in my bag the night before so I don’t forget it). My keys so I’m not sat on my doorstep like a homeless person until someone gets home. My weekly pill box – the main reasons for that are 1.i forget if I have or haven’t taken my meds that day so it’s a good visual reminder, 2. It’s a lot easier having one little pill box that carries everything, than having 4 or 5 different boxes that take up far too much space – logical thinking for the win J.

7. My crappy little iPod. If you know me, you’ll know I absolutely hate Apple products. They’re good, yea, but always seem to malfunction or break as soon as I touch or go near them. I didn’t even have my little nano for month before I broke it. And I don’t even know how! The on/off button just won’t click down so I can’t use it anymore. I possibly know what you’re thinking: ‘if it doesn’t work, why’s it in your bag?’. Answer, I have no idea. I should probably get it fixed or leave it at home or something. Oh. Along with that though, I have headphones. Why do I need headphones if my iPod doesn’t work? You can see my logic only lasts for short periods of time. Even though I wrapped them very neatly, it will take me a month to untangle them if I ever wanted to use them. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

And that’s pretty much it other than a few receipts from Tesco’s or Nando’s… or for other chicken related items. This blog post is a bit different to my usual and I’m not sure if I like it yet. Very…chatty? Either way my next post will be coming to you shortly…tatty-bye!

Race For Life 2013

So yesterday was the big day! Race day! And I was not prepared at all. A few months ago I started the gym and running on a regular basis with the idea that I was ‘in training’. Following me track record when it comes to sticking to a routine, that unsurprisingly didn’t last long and I slowly but surely managed to find my way back at home every night without so much as a five minute jog.  So after many weeks of not training, I found myself waking up at 8:30 on a Sunday morning with the daunting task of running 5k in a few hours. Having one of the worst night’s sleep, it’s safe to say I wasn’t in tip top running condition. But up I got and off I went.

                The idea was to spray may hair pink (it seems as though my whacky hair dying phase has reached a halt while it tries to get over the damage I put it through) but looking out of my bedroom window didn’t look promising. After England’s first few hints of summer, the day I was to venture out into the real world looked like it was going to chuck it down. I didn’t’ really  want to risk having pink hair spray run all over me, so decided against it. So I put on my sports bra, pinned on my running number and set off to pick up my grandma en route to Lister Park.

                Parking was horrendous at the event – driving round for a good 15 minutes before finding a lucky car sized gap on a side street a five minute walk away. Wondering over you could already hear the thump of music that was being blasted out by The Pulse of West Yorkshire, alongside the cheers that cried out every now and again when something was mentioned on stage. Walking into the park, you could just see an ocean of pink. It was lovely to see the amount of support their was for such a worthwhile charity.

                Looking around, the sea of messages people had on their backs was somewhat upsetting. Some reading ‘I run for: my 17 year old sister, RIP’, ‘I run for: granddad, 21/6/2010’…one that really got me was a little girl that couldn’t be any older than the age of seven had one that read ‘I run for daddy, miss you! 10/10/2012’. It’s heart breaking to think about that little girl growing up without her father. But among the sad was the hopeful; ‘I run for me and my twin sister – both cancer survivors!’. We all were there for the same reason and it was a beautiful site to see all ages, all ethnicities and all abilities coming together for the same cause. All in all, there was 2060 woman that ran with me that day.

                I began the run by jogging…and it soon became apparent that I was far more out of shape than I first thought! I had to stop jogging and start walking by the time I hit the first 1k sign to catch my breath. My legs were killing! My shins felt like they were going to rip out of my skin, and it was only the first kilometre. Oh gosh. I spent the next kilometre walking, and the one after that was more of a power walk. It then hit me ‘man, there’s people three times my age over taking me’ which really does make you think ‘I must be one unhealthy little twit’…so that gave me the motivation to pick up speed. I pulled my leg, mind you. That hurt…the back of my right knee. Anyhow, I carried on going.

                 While I hit the lake, I overheard the conversation between mother and daughter that really did make me giggle. The young girl turned to her mother and asked ‘mummy, where are the aliens?’. The fact she was talking about aliens instantly got my attention and I was curious to what she must be talking about.

‘oh, you mean the marshals honey’

‘yea, Martians are aliens…but from Mars aren’t they?’

Bless her. Her mother had to explain the difference between aliens from mars and men in high-vis jackets who kept an eye on you throughout the race. One of the highlights of my day that was.

                I finally reached the finish line at 54minutes24seconds. Crappy, right? Just means I have something to beat next year.

                 I learnt a few things this year though

      1.       If you’re going to run 5k, train for it.

      2.       Lister Park is far more hilly than what I thought – prepare for lots of uphill running

      3.       Don’t forget that you entered last minute- start fundraising well in advance!

      4.       Arrive incredibly early to find a parking space

                                                             5.       Remember that people in high visibility jackets are not aliens from mars!

Cancer Research

On Sunday the 9^th of June I’m going to be taking part in the Race For Life. For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s a sponsored run for women of all abilities in aid of Cancer. It’s had an incredible six million participants managed to raise over £493million for cancer research since starting in 1994 (so it’s one year older than I am, cool).

                I’ve done the race once before when I was younger with my mum but have entered this year on my own and I hope to god I meet some lovely people there who will keep me company on the run around. It’s only 5k (just over three miles / 5468 yards / 16404 feet) which might not seem like a lot. I know that some guys in my team are doing a mountain challenge for WaterAid (a charity that my company sponsor) this weekend and that’s more along the lines of 17k…uphill… so what I’m doing is far easier (good luck you guys!). But for me, being in such crap shape and never really getting off my arse other than to get food or go to work – running 5k is somewhat of a big deal to me.

                I decided to run this year because of a few reasons. First is having my grandma stop with me for 10 days while my parents went away to Egypt. We stayed up until midnight most nights talking about her journey through cancer (and lots of other topics which I found hilarious, my grandma’s a funny onion). It really made me realize how much of a strong woman she really is! She’s knocking on now and won’t listen to what anyone has to say – she told the doctor to go ‘shove it’ when he asked her to cut out salt from her diet to reduce risk of rising cholesterol. ‘well if I’ve made it this far eating what I want, I can’t be doing too bad’ she says.  Though she has had cancer at least twice, that I am aware of, and beat it both times. Me and my brother say that grandma’s going to live forever, she’s not going anywhere!

                Next reason is the amount of family members I have had pass away from the disease. My Auntie Doreen was a big impact with my mum caring for her as the cancer got worse and seeing the colour of her skin fade, and having to be bead-bound. One that hit me the hardest was my Granddad passing. I remember my dad coming to my house to give us the news. I kept a straight face until he left, then went to my room and sobbed to the point I could have filled an ocean. I won’t go into any more details on that one, it makes me well up just thinking about it. But he was a good man, my granddad – funniest person you would have ever met.

                A final reason is I know of so many people, friends and colleagues, that have partners or friends that are suffering from cancer – or are suffering themselves.  It’s heartbreaking to see the effect it’s having on not just the person suffering, but their family and friends. The worry, the pain, the stress. Cancer ruins not just one life, but all that surround it.

                I fear that one day I may be diagnosed – it’s in both bloodlines of my family so it’s not impossible. All the work and effort that has gone into this kind of research makes the idea a little more bearable. We’ve found treatments and cures for so many forms of cancer and the way we deal with it is fantastic! But there’s still a long way to go, research wise, into finding the overall cure for cancer. But remember, always check yourself. I’ve been taught from a young age on how to check myself for cancerous lumps and to make sure I do it regularly – so I check every time I get in the shower. Check out these websites for tips (they're all clickable :D) -

• Skin Cancer
• Breast Cancer
• Testicular Cancer

If you are interested or want to know about any other form of self-checks or cancer, there’s a ton of information readily available online - but please please please go see your doctor/GP if you are worried.

If any of you are kind enough to part with some cash, please sponsor me for Sunday. You can do so on my just giving page. It’s secure and completely safe and all donations go straight to the cause, and if you do donate some money, I want to say a big THANK YOU in advance.

MY JUST GIVING PAGE! SPONSOR ME HERE

I’ll be sure to post an update on how the run goes!



Probably The Worst Pep Talk

The amount of people that sit around and wish: wish for things to be different, whish for something to happen, wish for a change. It’s shit to come to terms with, and it’s not necessarily what you want to hear, but wishing gets you nowhere. In the harsh reality, just wanting something to happen won’t make it so. Trust me, I’ve tried – I’ve wished on stars, birthday candles, when the clock strikes 11:11, even on the eyelash that fell on the back of my hand. Nothing. It’s crappy when you have to grow up and realise that the fairy-tales that you’ve grown up with are never going to happen out of thin air. Bit of news for you, you have to work for what you want in life.

                A lot of people talk to me about their problems - People going through anxiety and depression mainly. I gladly listen and will help where I can, but the amount of frustration I feel from some people is ridiculous. I don’t  want to undermine anyone here, but complaining to me all day, every day, is not going to make you better. Yes, I’m here to help, but I can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself.  I appreciate how hard it is to feel the way you do and it takes a pretty strong person to break the ‘habit’ of feeling that way. You can do it, but you have to make actions, not words. It’s something to say you want to feel better and that you’re going to start trying. But what is all that going to do if you’re doing jack all about it? Remember, mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is.

                A lot of people hold back on their dreams, their ambitions. They want to be at the top, but don’t work to get there.  If you want to be the biggest rock god out there, go ahead…do it! You want to create your own business…go ahead, create a proposal. The biggest thing here is to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You’ll never get anywhere if you sit around and wait for the opportunities to come to you. Get off your backside and chase them, hunt them down. Then don’t take no for an answer and do what you have to do to get where you want to be. The manager of the business you work for didn’t get there by sitting on his arse waiting. Your head teacher didn’t end up in that role by magic. No matter what your goals are in life, you have work for them.

                The biggest example I can think of right now is playing a musical instrument. I know so many people that say ‘I wish I could play guitar’…or see some brilliant guitarist and say ‘I wish I could play like him’. Please tell me what’s stopping you? I’ll tell you, nothing. But it takes a bit of grafting. I’m not saying that as soon as you pick up a Fender you’ll be playing with the best of them…but at least it’s a start. It won’t be easy and it’ll require a lot of effort, but if you stick at it…you’ll see results. Then you won’t be wishing any more. Soppy as heck, I know…but it’s the most practical and relatable example I could think of.

                This is probably the worst pep talk you’ve ever come across. And it’s most likely badly written and makes you feel shit – not the aim had in mind, I must say. But I’m getting tired of the amount of people who are complaining to me, wishing their life was different but doing nothing. Saying you want something is easy enough to do, I know. But acting on those words is the hard part – but the most rewarding. I’ve pushed through a lot of the things people talk to me about and I can openly say from experience – it’s the hardest f-ing thing I’ve ever done, but I’ve put the effort in and I’m almost out to the other side where I’m feeling okay. It’s possible. Work hard, see the results you want,  you’ll thank yourself for it.