Sexism

So lately I’ve been getting worked up and pissed off over a minority men. Not in any kind of relationship perspective, per say, but on the views towards women/men and the stubbornness of said views and mind sets.

                Believing in true equality in every form – race, age, gender, ability, and so on – means that those few people that have it stuck in their head that one is better than the rest infuriate me beyond belief. One thing in particular that is bothering me right now is sexism. It’s something that I’ve become a lot more aware of since starting working life. When you’re in school, the guys with perverse perspectives like ‘you belong in the kitchen’ are seen more on the joke-ey side or are just jerks that you soon forget about. But when you’re in the working environment…things like that are a big issue. No matter what industry, company or workplace you’re at…it’s still an issue.

                Out of interest, I Googled ‘successful women’. What I expected to come back from that was a list of successful business women from all over the world. Is that what I found? No. I found list upon list with titles such as ‘how to be successful as a woman’, ‘how to make an impact while being a woman’…then there was one article thrown in there that states why (most) successful women are childless. I don’t know if this was just me being in a foul mood beforehand, but I was somewhat appalled.

‘how to be successful AS A WOMAN’

The last part of the title is what got me. I could understand ‘how to be successful IN BUSINESS’ or ‘how to be successful AS A PERSON’…but the fact that women somehow need completely different rules to be successful than any other person…that just doesn’t bode all that well in my mind. So from curiosity, I opened a few just to see what the ‘oh so different than men’s’ tactics were. I was horrified to find that appearance was a common theme in a few of the links. I saw tips on how you should do your make-up – how much or how little; the way you should dress;  how you need to ‘stay in shape and do some exercise’.  I would have thought it was common sense that you dress appropriate for your role, regardless of gender, but having ‘how to do you make-up’ being high on the list of ‘how to be successful’ is ridiculous. And ‘keep in shape’, why the hell should I? I’ll keep in shape to stay healthy and for my own benefit, of course, but that’s because I want to and it’s a life style choice - not because I want to be successful. You’re telling me that every male CEO in the world had to work out at the gym and get ‘in shape’ to reach that level of success? I doubt it. I’m probably reading into this way too much, but it just felt like a low blow that I need to be attractive to get somewhere in life.

I feel like there’s a lack in visibility of successful female role models to look up to. There’s a few reasons for this. One…there is a little less successful females than there is males (according to servays and statistcs online anyway). And second, when there is success for a female, it’s not exactly the biggest story in the news. I don’t think that the media shout about women in business as much as they could. I hear a lot about ‘hey look, *insert celeb name here* has had a boob job’ or ‘oh my god, look at *insert  another celeb here*’s hair!’… but rarely do I hear of the ‘ordinary’ women (when I say ordinary, I mean in business and who aren’t generally classed as A list Celebs who get followed by the media on a daily basis) who have made a huge impact in the world.

So after being so negative through this whole post, I’m going to be a little more upbeat (or attempt to at least). I want to point out some of the women I look up to. First of is the president and CEO of Yahoo!, Marissa Mayer.  She’s a 38 year old woman who’s at the top of her game, with a baby (how that for ‘successful women are childless’). She was on America’s annual list of ’50 most powerful women’ five years in a row from 2008 to 2012, which is pretty darn good going.  From her ‘small town childhood’…to her job in a local grocery store…she’s made her way up to be the CEO of one of the most recognisable and iconic businesses going. BOOM!

One of the most inspirational people, in my eyes, to watch and listen to would be Eve Ensler. I LOVE her. Eve Ensler is a prominent activist addressing issues of violence against women and girls and is one of my favorite women to listen to. She’s spoken at many TED events and always manages to make me think. On her website, she’s describes as ‘Tony Award winning playwright, performer, and activist’ so it’s safe to say she’s an incredibly talented lady.

This was really a huge ramble from when I was frustrated about something, so I do apologies that it’s a bit of a rant. As I say, everything that I’ve said is my own opinion – so please don’t be kicking off if you disagree with anything I’ve said. I will happily listen to your opposing views in a polite manor, mind you,  as long as you don’t out right say my opinion is wrong (an opinion is just that, an opinion. It can be neither wrong or right as it isn’t factual). But yea, I’ll go now.

Make Someone's Day

Lately I’ve realised the amount of people that go on their day to day business and somewhat blank out the world around them. We’re getting far too unsociable for my liking – hiding behind computer screens instead of going out ; getting our work done and ignoring those around us. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t speak to the bus driver. This guy/gal has just driven you miles across town so that you can get where you want to be, and you just ignore them. NONONO. People who don’t thank the bus driver are instantly on my hate list. I make sure I go out of my way to say ‘good morning/afternoon’ with a smile when I get on, and a big ‘thank you, have a good day’ when I get off. Is that so difficult? It’s common courtesy , a trait of which a lot of the population seem to be lacking just lately.

                To combat this issue in the smallest way possible (seen as I only have a select few readers, aha), I thought it would be a nice idea to put out some pointers on how to brighten someone’s day. Amazingly, the things I’m going to mention aren’t ground breaking news – just common sense. Theirs been books written on this, in fact. But they really are not hard to do, so why not do it?

                First off, compliment someone.  How great does it feel to have someone you barely speak to go out of their way to tell you they think you look nice today, or they like your choice of clothing, or you have nice eyes…or something. And if you’ve not experienced that then that’s a huge shame so: BABE, YOU…READING THIS RIGHT NOW…YOU LOOK BLOODY LOVELY TODAY! A compliment does wonders to the way someone is feeling and helps give them a boost for the day. I love making people smile, and this is a sure fire way to do so. They won’t forget it either, I guarantee. Even if you tell them at 7am, they will remember what you said as they’re getting tucked up to go to bed that evening. It’s so simple, yet so effective – though do be genuine.

                Smiles go a long way. I know it’s said all the time and seems a load of rubbish – but just think about it. The last stranger to smile at you, did you smile back? Smiles are infectious. You can make the whole world smile back at you by just doing so yourself (bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea). One of the first things I notice about a person is if they have a nice smile – it’s THE most attractive thing in the world (to me) if someone has a nice, warm smile. Well no one would want to see a grumpy face walking towards them, would they?

(this is what i needed 25p
for, yum)

                Help out – if you see that lady scrambling through her purse to find 15p to pay the shop keeper and you have change in your hand…offer her it. I do this with so many people and their face instantly lights up – people on the bus especially for when the price suddenly jumps up by 10p without warning. Equally, if someone has their hand full of stuff, offer a hand or at least open the door for them. It’s trivial things like that which help people out and show that there is hope for humanity. Oh, by the way, the guy who paid 25p for me in the coffee shop the other morning when I was short on change, GOD BLESS YOU SIR! – see, people DO remember this stuff.

                If you’ve not seen the common theme here, it’s that LITTLE THINGS MATTER. It’s the smallest things in the world that make people feel that bit better about their day. It’s amazing how the smallest interaction with someone can change their whole outlook on their day to day activities. It’s not like it’s a huge inconvenience for you to do a small thing for someone like old a door open or compliment their shoes. So I urge you, today…at least once, do something for someone else. Not only will you make their day better, but you’ll feel fab for doing it yourself. So there you have it, the small things that make a big difference. My rant on common courtesy is now done, so go! Venture out in the world! Do something nice! Make someone’s day! – I dare you :’)

What do you want to be when you grow up ?

My idea of updating my blog twice a week has definitely been defeated before it had even begun. I have the crappiest luck in the world when it comes to technology and, after having it exactly a month, my new laptop is in for repair. Don’t ask, seriously. But better late than never, I fancied writing about young people and their future.

                From a very young age, we’re expected to know what we want to do, how we’re going to get there and have a plan in place. What?! I really don’t see how you would be anywhere near knowing what you want out of life under the age of twenty…but in the professional world this, apparently, makes logical sense.

                Probably from the age of about four, there’s a common theme that starts to occur and you’re asked somewhat frequently ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’. Being the little hopeful and naïve four year old that I was, I would respond ‘the angel on top of the Christmas tree’. Cute, eh? Unrealistic in all senses – I obviously didn’t think about the technicalities of it only being a part time job, includes a strenuous balancing act on the top of a tree 24/7 for a few days, what must four year old me have been thinking to have considered such a crappy job?! I can tell you, she was thinking like a four year old.  At that age I had no aspirations for a professional career, and in fact…I didn’t have any aspirations for what I wanted to be up until about the age of 14-ish.

                At the age of 14, I had to choose my options for what subjects to take in school. When this was happening, teachers were constantly trying to shove in the front of my mind that the subjects  I was choosing as a 14 year old will affect my choice of career FOR LIFE. No. I totally took that idea and threw it out of the window. I chose a music diploma because I could play guitar and piano so thought it would be easy…and triple science because I liked blowing things up. So unless they were convinced I was going to be a musical bomb maker…it’s fair to say I didn’t have a career in mind when I chose those.

                At one point, though, I was dead set that I wanted to become a child psychologist and was very focused on that. I picked up psychology text books to read in my spare time, looked at psychology and sociology courses all through Yorkshire to get an idea of where I would go when I left school and was convinced that this was my path – my calling. Well…until I ended up being a Project Manager in a team focused on Innovation for my local water company. Things change, nothing is set in stone.

                I don’t know what I want to do now. Honest to god, I do not think I will be an Innovative Project Manager for the rest of my life…I’m looking into occupational health, Human Resources…still a little in psychology. I have a job and am working on a degree and I can openly say that I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And that’s why the school system REALLY peeves me off. The amount of young people I see stressing about their future because they haven’t figured it out yet is ridiculous. Just because at the tender young age of 15, you don’t know where you’re going to be in 20 years…doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Trust me. Just because you haven’t decided yet does not mean the world will stop spinning. Take your time, figure it out and take the chances that come your way – and when you’ve done that…you may well change your mind on what you want to do and start all over. AND THAT’S ABSELUTELY FINE. We have choice for a reason.

       A video that probably explains my thoughts on the subject a lot better than what I’ve just written is from a YouTuber named Emma Blackery. She’s brilliant, been following her for a while and she just seems to sum up everything I’m thinking into actual words. So check her video out on her thoughts on the same kind of subject : 

(keep tuned to her ‘feel good 101’ videos! They’re fab)

 

Here I Am

I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that for a lot of teens out there, your teenage years feel like the loneliest years of your life. I’m saying this from personal experience as well as from reading what a lot of you have to say through the e-mails you send me, Tumblr posts and Facebook statuses. There’s so many reasons why we feel so alone at such a young age…we don’t feel understood; we’re having a hard time and don’t feel like there’s anyone to turn to; constantly stuck in the ‘in-between’ category where you’re old enough that you should be able to look after yourself, yet too young to have actual responsibility…yea, that’s the worst.

                The in-between stage is the worst. I feel pretty stuck in it right now. I’m old enough to have a job, earn my own money, pay for what I need…yet on the other hand I have to be watched when my parents go on holiday, all my actions are questioned and the best one…I have to have a separate risk assessment done for me to take account for my ‘immaturity’ – oh dear lord.  

                So being young and having a job feels like one heck of a lonely place to be. All my colleagues are amazing but a lot older than me. I can’t exactly go for a pint with them after work – especially seen as I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn’t drink alcohol in the presence of work related situations until I’m 18. Plus it’s hard to be the young minded teen I should be when I have a lot of responsibilities to deal with. So that means I don’t get a lot of time to hang around people my own age – I’m either at work when they’re free or they’re at college/sixth form when I’m free. Makes things a little difficult.

                Because of the being busy situation, I don’t really talk to a lot of young people apart from texts and online – which is great. But it would be nice to be able to just call someone up and go out for the night or something. I’m starting to balance my time better now though. It’s taken a while to create a work-to-social balance, so now I’m making time for friends and keeping in touch.

                So back onto the real theme of this post, I always end up complaining about something or other. Aaaaanyway. What I’m meaning to say is that it’s hard to feel alone, and it’s awful when all you want is to do is talk to someone. So I’m wanting to stretch out a hand. Anyone out there, anyone at all…if you’re having a tough time, wanting advice, or just someone to have a chat with….please feel free to contact me. I have my facebook, tumblr and twitter on here…comment me, message me and if you’re in England you can even text me (you’ll have to get in contact with me for my number). It’s nice to have that one person to turn to, even if it’s just to have someone to rant at to get things off your chest. – Here I am if you need me pumpkins. This is my open invitation for anyone to message me with anything they like and I will listen openly for as long as you need.

                It really does make a difference to know that someone has your back. While I’m writing this, I’m thinking of a few people in particular. You’ll know who you are if you’re reading this. There’s two people especially. One I can be a complete twat to and the worst person in the world to when I’m in a foul mood, but he goes through it with me. He’s been through a lot of my shit and he’s still wanting to be nice to me, so thanks Puggle-pop. The other is also just amazing, love this guy – I’ll talk to him after not talking for months and he still does his best to make me smile and I know full well I can count on him. The amount of time’s he’s offered to step in to certain situations that I’ve struggled with is amazing, thanks! So this is a huge thank you for those of you that have stuck by me and been there when I felt alone. LOVE YOU ALL!

21st Century Problems

So recently my phone’s broke. It wasn’t a surprise, it was only a matter of time until it just gave up on me. It’s been dropped and smashed against things so many times that I’ve lost count. And it’s just never been the same after the day I dropped it under a taxi – god bless my phone!

             She (my phone) was holding out well and working to the best of her capability until one day she just wouldn’t respond to touch. Nothing you did would make her select an app. OH THE HORROR OF THE 21^st CENTUARY! Long story short, she’s in for repair and as a courtesy was given this brick of a thing.

             it wasn’t until it took me over ten minutes to figure out how to get the damn thing to stop making a bleeping noise every time I pressed a button, then I realised...gosh, what has the 21^st century done to me – to us! Give me a smart phone, ask me to recalibrate it, turn on the settings so it only rings at a certain time, transfer files to another device via wireless – yea, that’s all fine. Give me five year old phone and ask me to turn it on silent – completely different story. That’s crazy! As things have progressed through time we’ve completely forgotten the basics. Like I saw this thing on BBC news online the other day that said that the ipad will cause cursive handwriting to die out completely in the next five years as kids are given more electronic devises in the classroom. It’s so weird on how generations change so much, I remember cursive handwriting being the biggest deal when I was in primary school – and to receive your first handwriting pen was the highlight of your school life, not an iPad.

           Is it only me that finds it scary that the older we are, the more inferior we become to the people younger than us? That’s how I think of it anyway. For example, my mother can only just use a computer to type out a message at 40-odd years of age, I have become able to touch type and use a computer on a day to day basis from the age of 13-17, my 7 year old little sister can pretty much use a computer at the same ability I can. What?! So at the age of 17, I’m only just becoming tech savvy (and getting frustrated on how to use new technology I may add), yet my younger sister can already use a laptop, and my even younger cousin (age 3-4) can use a smart phone. Jesus give me strength, I was playing with a doll and a cup of water at the age of 4!  

           And on that note, I bid you farewell as this was written at 1AM and is beginning to look very blurry and make very little sense. Make of my ramblings what you will my darlings.

Introductions

By the miracle that anyone may come across my blog and have a nosey at my content, it only makes sense to introduce myself. I’ll start with the basics:
         I’m Carys and I have the Welsh-est name imaginable – thanks mum and dad. I’ve been brought up in a city named Bradford in England. It’s not too bad but I’ve dreamt of moving to a big city one day (New York is the dream, I fell in love with it within seconds)
        I’m 18 this year, and I found myself an apprenticeship at Yorkshire Water which is one of the best decisions I’ve made in life so far. School really wasn’t for me so getting this job was a god-send, I’ll probably post about that a little later. My title is the ‘Innovation Project Management Apprentice’ which sounds far fancier than what is.
         So that’s my name, age and occupation out of the way – I’ll tell you a little more about me as a person.
         Though many people say this, music is a big part of my life. Through tough years in my life I used to sit in a practice room alone with my guitar, and just play – it really did get me through. Though oddly, I can’t seem to stick to a single thing. I’ve tried my hand at guitar, bass, drums, piano, keyboard, flute and possibly a ton of other things. Oh, I played the recorder in primary school (for the Americans that’s ages 4 up until 10 or 11) I was such a cool kid as you can tell.
          Still along the music lines, I really do look up to an American band named Shinedown. I fell in love with their sound years ago, and have ever since had it in my head that my life will not be complete without meeting Brent Smith – though I soon realised that was ridiculously ambitious so would settle with seeing them Live.
           I also love to travel. Seeing new places and new faces fascinates me. And although I’d rather be in a cooler climate, I love visiting all kinds of places. Hey, let’s write a list: New York, Vegas, Florida, San Francisco, Arizona, Italy-Rome, Paris, London, Iceland, Turkey, Greece, all over Spain. I can’t remember other places but that’s a pretty good selection off the top of my head. Most of the places I visited were on school trips – I know right, school trips! I can honestly say that I’ve had far more experiences at the age of 17 than most other people have had in a life time.
             I’ll leave this alone here, and go more in depth on subject as an when it comes to me.

‘Till next time.