Make Someone's Day

Lately I’ve realised the amount of people that go on their day to day business and somewhat blank out the world around them. We’re getting far too unsociable for my liking – hiding behind computer screens instead of going out ; getting our work done and ignoring those around us. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t speak to the bus driver. This guy/gal has just driven you miles across town so that you can get where you want to be, and you just ignore them. NONONO. People who don’t thank the bus driver are instantly on my hate list. I make sure I go out of my way to say ‘good morning/afternoon’ with a smile when I get on, and a big ‘thank you, have a good day’ when I get off. Is that so difficult? It’s common courtesy , a trait of which a lot of the population seem to be lacking just lately.

                To combat this issue in the smallest way possible (seen as I only have a select few readers, aha), I thought it would be a nice idea to put out some pointers on how to brighten someone’s day. Amazingly, the things I’m going to mention aren’t ground breaking news – just common sense. Theirs been books written on this, in fact. But they really are not hard to do, so why not do it?

                First off, compliment someone.  How great does it feel to have someone you barely speak to go out of their way to tell you they think you look nice today, or they like your choice of clothing, or you have nice eyes…or something. And if you’ve not experienced that then that’s a huge shame so: BABE, YOU…READING THIS RIGHT NOW…YOU LOOK BLOODY LOVELY TODAY! A compliment does wonders to the way someone is feeling and helps give them a boost for the day. I love making people smile, and this is a sure fire way to do so. They won’t forget it either, I guarantee. Even if you tell them at 7am, they will remember what you said as they’re getting tucked up to go to bed that evening. It’s so simple, yet so effective – though do be genuine.

                Smiles go a long way. I know it’s said all the time and seems a load of rubbish – but just think about it. The last stranger to smile at you, did you smile back? Smiles are infectious. You can make the whole world smile back at you by just doing so yourself (bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea). One of the first things I notice about a person is if they have a nice smile – it’s THE most attractive thing in the world (to me) if someone has a nice, warm smile. Well no one would want to see a grumpy face walking towards them, would they?

(this is what i needed 25p
for, yum)

                Help out – if you see that lady scrambling through her purse to find 15p to pay the shop keeper and you have change in your hand…offer her it. I do this with so many people and their face instantly lights up – people on the bus especially for when the price suddenly jumps up by 10p without warning. Equally, if someone has their hand full of stuff, offer a hand or at least open the door for them. It’s trivial things like that which help people out and show that there is hope for humanity. Oh, by the way, the guy who paid 25p for me in the coffee shop the other morning when I was short on change, GOD BLESS YOU SIR! – see, people DO remember this stuff.

                If you’ve not seen the common theme here, it’s that LITTLE THINGS MATTER. It’s the smallest things in the world that make people feel that bit better about their day. It’s amazing how the smallest interaction with someone can change their whole outlook on their day to day activities. It’s not like it’s a huge inconvenience for you to do a small thing for someone like old a door open or compliment their shoes. So I urge you, today…at least once, do something for someone else. Not only will you make their day better, but you’ll feel fab for doing it yourself. So there you have it, the small things that make a big difference. My rant on common courtesy is now done, so go! Venture out in the world! Do something nice! Make someone’s day! – I dare you :’)

What do you want to be when you grow up ?

My idea of updating my blog twice a week has definitely been defeated before it had even begun. I have the crappiest luck in the world when it comes to technology and, after having it exactly a month, my new laptop is in for repair. Don’t ask, seriously. But better late than never, I fancied writing about young people and their future.

                From a very young age, we’re expected to know what we want to do, how we’re going to get there and have a plan in place. What?! I really don’t see how you would be anywhere near knowing what you want out of life under the age of twenty…but in the professional world this, apparently, makes logical sense.

                Probably from the age of about four, there’s a common theme that starts to occur and you’re asked somewhat frequently ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’. Being the little hopeful and naïve four year old that I was, I would respond ‘the angel on top of the Christmas tree’. Cute, eh? Unrealistic in all senses – I obviously didn’t think about the technicalities of it only being a part time job, includes a strenuous balancing act on the top of a tree 24/7 for a few days, what must four year old me have been thinking to have considered such a crappy job?! I can tell you, she was thinking like a four year old.  At that age I had no aspirations for a professional career, and in fact…I didn’t have any aspirations for what I wanted to be up until about the age of 14-ish.

                At the age of 14, I had to choose my options for what subjects to take in school. When this was happening, teachers were constantly trying to shove in the front of my mind that the subjects  I was choosing as a 14 year old will affect my choice of career FOR LIFE. No. I totally took that idea and threw it out of the window. I chose a music diploma because I could play guitar and piano so thought it would be easy…and triple science because I liked blowing things up. So unless they were convinced I was going to be a musical bomb maker…it’s fair to say I didn’t have a career in mind when I chose those.

                At one point, though, I was dead set that I wanted to become a child psychologist and was very focused on that. I picked up psychology text books to read in my spare time, looked at psychology and sociology courses all through Yorkshire to get an idea of where I would go when I left school and was convinced that this was my path – my calling. Well…until I ended up being a Project Manager in a team focused on Innovation for my local water company. Things change, nothing is set in stone.

                I don’t know what I want to do now. Honest to god, I do not think I will be an Innovative Project Manager for the rest of my life…I’m looking into occupational health, Human Resources…still a little in psychology. I have a job and am working on a degree and I can openly say that I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And that’s why the school system REALLY peeves me off. The amount of young people I see stressing about their future because they haven’t figured it out yet is ridiculous. Just because at the tender young age of 15, you don’t know where you’re going to be in 20 years…doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Trust me. Just because you haven’t decided yet does not mean the world will stop spinning. Take your time, figure it out and take the chances that come your way – and when you’ve done that…you may well change your mind on what you want to do and start all over. AND THAT’S ABSELUTELY FINE. We have choice for a reason.

       A video that probably explains my thoughts on the subject a lot better than what I’ve just written is from a YouTuber named Emma Blackery. She’s brilliant, been following her for a while and she just seems to sum up everything I’m thinking into actual words. So check her video out on her thoughts on the same kind of subject : 

(keep tuned to her ‘feel good 101’ videos! They’re fab)

 

Here I Am

I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that for a lot of teens out there, your teenage years feel like the loneliest years of your life. I’m saying this from personal experience as well as from reading what a lot of you have to say through the e-mails you send me, Tumblr posts and Facebook statuses. There’s so many reasons why we feel so alone at such a young age…we don’t feel understood; we’re having a hard time and don’t feel like there’s anyone to turn to; constantly stuck in the ‘in-between’ category where you’re old enough that you should be able to look after yourself, yet too young to have actual responsibility…yea, that’s the worst.

                The in-between stage is the worst. I feel pretty stuck in it right now. I’m old enough to have a job, earn my own money, pay for what I need…yet on the other hand I have to be watched when my parents go on holiday, all my actions are questioned and the best one…I have to have a separate risk assessment done for me to take account for my ‘immaturity’ – oh dear lord.  

                So being young and having a job feels like one heck of a lonely place to be. All my colleagues are amazing but a lot older than me. I can’t exactly go for a pint with them after work – especially seen as I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn’t drink alcohol in the presence of work related situations until I’m 18. Plus it’s hard to be the young minded teen I should be when I have a lot of responsibilities to deal with. So that means I don’t get a lot of time to hang around people my own age – I’m either at work when they’re free or they’re at college/sixth form when I’m free. Makes things a little difficult.

                Because of the being busy situation, I don’t really talk to a lot of young people apart from texts and online – which is great. But it would be nice to be able to just call someone up and go out for the night or something. I’m starting to balance my time better now though. It’s taken a while to create a work-to-social balance, so now I’m making time for friends and keeping in touch.

                So back onto the real theme of this post, I always end up complaining about something or other. Aaaaanyway. What I’m meaning to say is that it’s hard to feel alone, and it’s awful when all you want is to do is talk to someone. So I’m wanting to stretch out a hand. Anyone out there, anyone at all…if you’re having a tough time, wanting advice, or just someone to have a chat with….please feel free to contact me. I have my facebook, tumblr and twitter on here…comment me, message me and if you’re in England you can even text me (you’ll have to get in contact with me for my number). It’s nice to have that one person to turn to, even if it’s just to have someone to rant at to get things off your chest. – Here I am if you need me pumpkins. This is my open invitation for anyone to message me with anything they like and I will listen openly for as long as you need.

                It really does make a difference to know that someone has your back. While I’m writing this, I’m thinking of a few people in particular. You’ll know who you are if you’re reading this. There’s two people especially. One I can be a complete twat to and the worst person in the world to when I’m in a foul mood, but he goes through it with me. He’s been through a lot of my shit and he’s still wanting to be nice to me, so thanks Puggle-pop. The other is also just amazing, love this guy – I’ll talk to him after not talking for months and he still does his best to make me smile and I know full well I can count on him. The amount of time’s he’s offered to step in to certain situations that I’ve struggled with is amazing, thanks! So this is a huge thank you for those of you that have stuck by me and been there when I felt alone. LOVE YOU ALL!

Parenthood

Having a child or being pregnant has been known to be one of the most beautiful parts of life. Really? Nothing I see about moving stomachs, epic mood swings and as far as I’m concerned, pushing the equivalent of a water melon through a button hole, is remotely beautiful. I tell you, watching the British TV show ‘one born every minute’ has definitely scarred me for life and put me off of child birth all together – so I don’t think you’ll see me taking the road of motherhood any time soon.

One thing that did amaze me when I was talking to a friend of mine was the ‘sink or swim’ response to becoming a parent. I think that teen mums have the worst reputation imaginable when really, they don’t deserve it.  It’s like anything in life – it’s a select few that’s ruined it for all. I don’t think people give them enough credit. Yea, maybe things could have panned out a little differently, but couldn’t it with everyone? I have friends my age who are bringing up a baby just as well as a 27 year old. And those of you that watch Jeremy Kyle, there’s 30 year olds who are doing a far worse job at bringing up a child than those that gave birth young. It’s really not an age thing but an individual thing, and I don’t see why people don’t realise that.

I have a friend, and I hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning her, who is a few months younger than me with the most BEAUTIFUL baby boy I have seen. I think she’s bloody fantastic! Her baby is happy, healthy and gets all the love it needs (and more) all while his mum is 17. She’s paid for a christening, moving into  a new house, bought a new pram and the only thing I’ve ever seen her complain about is ‘wow I’m tired’. Yea, her life could have gone completely differently if she didn’t have her bundle of joy, but if you ask her…she wouldn’t change a thing and he is the best thing in her life – her and her partners life should I say.  So please explain to me how ‘all young mums are shit and don’t deserve to be parents’ ? That stereotype really gets me, I’m proud to say I know such a strong and independent young mum.

While we’re at it, let’s get into another ‘issue’. ‘Gay’s shouldn’t be parents’. Why the heck not?! I read something the other day and I completely agreed with it: When gays become parents, it shows they actually want a child. They have to go the extra mile and find a surrogate if they’re male, sperm donors if they’re female or go through a lengthy and often difficult adoption process. Going through all this shows they WANT to bring a life into this world. If you would kindly let me refer you back to Jeremy Kyle, the amount of couples that just pop kids out when they don’t want them is unbelievable. There’s children taken into homes or being neglected just because these few heterosexual couples couldn’t be arsed using protection. Yea, accidents happen…but when they do happen you have to step up to the plate. As long as a child is loved and cared for, I don’t give a crap weather it’s a single mum/dad, two male’s, two female’s or a heterosexual couple.  The health and wellbeing of a child is not determined on who bought them up, but on how they were brought up.

Regrets?

If there was a re-do button for situations in life, would you chose to do it? I don’t know, it’s something I wonder about. ‘if I had done that…what would have happened’. I realise that focusing on the ‘if’s’ is a very harmful thing to do – it stops you from moving forward if you’re too concerned about what could have been. But sometimes it’s nice to dream, right.

at prom - me on the right

         One thing I would change if I could would have been Prom. It’s a lot bigger in the USA than it is over here but gosh, did my year get excited about it. Well everyone apart from me. I didn’t even think I was going to go in the first place, but after a lot of conversations with friends…I finally gave in. I didn’t bother buying a dress, or getting my hair and make-up done professionally or anything along those lines. I just pulled out a dress I wore at a wedding earlier that year, used the same make-up I always did and turned up. Everyone looked amazing and you could see all the effort that had gone into how they looked, but it really just wasn’t my thing. I didn’t get professional pictures taken like most, I didn’t eat anything and I didn’t stay all that long either. I wasn’t a moody-bum all evening, I had a smile on my face and a talked and danced with friends – but left early, went to home to get in my PJ’s and ordered a take-away.  

          What I’m saying is, instead of not really caring about the whole charade, I’ve gotten to a point now where I wish I had chance to dress up and look like a princess and spend time with close friends. And the best time for that would be Prom. It makes me feel a little sad when I see the year bellow me uploaded pictures of their dresses that they’re going to wear and getting all excited. I had my time and I blew it. I guess I’ll just have to have a big fancy 18^th birthday bash to make up for it, right?!

even the smell of vodka makes me gip now

       Other things I’d change are the obvious – those nights where you’ve gotten completely blathered to the point you’ve either passed out and don’t remember anything or done something stupid as hell. I’ll tell you what, I can’t look at vodka the same any more – everyone has that one drink right? Let’s just say I thought I was bigger than I was, so drank straight vodka at an alarming rate, and ended up falling all over my kitchen – apparently while still trying to convince my mum I was sober. Safe to say I don’t remember much of that night. I regret drinking that much because god knows what would have happened to me. I could have been murdered or assaulted and I wouldn’t have been any wiser. One thing I am incredibly grateful for was my amazing friends who got me home in one piece and wouldn’t let anything happen to me – I still don’t think they realise how much that meant to me. One good thing that came out of it, though, is it’s genuinely put me off drinking for life. It’s three years on nearly, and I haven’t drank alcohol the same since – the thought of ending up like the last time haunts me so I definitely stick to my limits!

        Though saying all this, I’m now going to completely contradict myself. I’m a firm believer in that things happen for reasons. And things are meant to be how they happen. So everything that I’ve done wrong or done well have made me the way I am today. Who knows how different my situation would be if I had made different choices in life. I’m pretty content with the way things are and I don’t think I’d change that for the world.

21st Century Problems

So recently my phone’s broke. It wasn’t a surprise, it was only a matter of time until it just gave up on me. It’s been dropped and smashed against things so many times that I’ve lost count. And it’s just never been the same after the day I dropped it under a taxi – god bless my phone!

             She (my phone) was holding out well and working to the best of her capability until one day she just wouldn’t respond to touch. Nothing you did would make her select an app. OH THE HORROR OF THE 21^st CENTUARY! Long story short, she’s in for repair and as a courtesy was given this brick of a thing.

             it wasn’t until it took me over ten minutes to figure out how to get the damn thing to stop making a bleeping noise every time I pressed a button, then I realised...gosh, what has the 21^st century done to me – to us! Give me a smart phone, ask me to recalibrate it, turn on the settings so it only rings at a certain time, transfer files to another device via wireless – yea, that’s all fine. Give me five year old phone and ask me to turn it on silent – completely different story. That’s crazy! As things have progressed through time we’ve completely forgotten the basics. Like I saw this thing on BBC news online the other day that said that the ipad will cause cursive handwriting to die out completely in the next five years as kids are given more electronic devises in the classroom. It’s so weird on how generations change so much, I remember cursive handwriting being the biggest deal when I was in primary school – and to receive your first handwriting pen was the highlight of your school life, not an iPad.

           Is it only me that finds it scary that the older we are, the more inferior we become to the people younger than us? That’s how I think of it anyway. For example, my mother can only just use a computer to type out a message at 40-odd years of age, I have become able to touch type and use a computer on a day to day basis from the age of 13-17, my 7 year old little sister can pretty much use a computer at the same ability I can. What?! So at the age of 17, I’m only just becoming tech savvy (and getting frustrated on how to use new technology I may add), yet my younger sister can already use a laptop, and my even younger cousin (age 3-4) can use a smart phone. Jesus give me strength, I was playing with a doll and a cup of water at the age of 4!  

           And on that note, I bid you farewell as this was written at 1AM and is beginning to look very blurry and make very little sense. Make of my ramblings what you will my darlings.